Growing Old: Overcoming Internalized Ageism and Embracing Your Potential

Age: It’s a common theme among my clients. I often hear things like: “I am in my 30s and I should have been married or should know what I want to do with my career” or “I am in my 50s, I can’t change careers, or I can’t hike the Grand Canyon” People think they should be doing something or at a certain point in life-based on their age. Or they think they can no longer do something because they are too old. 

The Age Trap: Understanding Internalized Ageism 

The truth is….and I’m sure you’ve heard this before….age really is just a number. What you can and can’t do at a certain age is all up to you. And that feeling that your age is limiting you? It’s called internalized ageism, prejudice against our feared future self. Some of the more obvious challenges that come with this mindset are limiting growth opportunities, not doing what you want to do, putting pressure on yourself, etc. However, Dr. Becca Levy’s research also found that ageist beliefs can also limit individuals’ physical abilities and impact recovery from injuries and illnesses.

She suggests that we can combat this problems by shifting from “an age-declining mindset to an age-thriving one”. 

What does declining vs thriving mean?

Inspiring Age-Defying Stories 

For me, moving to an age-thriving mindset is boosted by real stories! I absolutely love @trainwithjoan who started her fitness journey at 70 and now has 2 million followers and a fitness app with 50K+ women. I saw an interview with Cher recently where she said she wants to record a new album at 78. And Samuel L. Jackson was 46 years old and in recovery from cocaine and heroin addiction before he starred alongside John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. 

As Mark Twain said,  “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter".

Create an Action Plan

Another way you can counteract your internalized ageism is to discover the stories that you are told and are telling yourself about age with the following exercise… 

I am ___ years old so I should be ___________________.

I am __ years old so I can’t _____________________.

My parent is __ years old so they should be _____________

My parent is __ years old so they can’t ______________.

My child is __ years old so they should be _______________.

My child is __ years old so they can’t _________________.

Once you’ve uncovered your age biases, answer these questions to create an action plan for yourself to counteract your biases: 

What do I want to do right now (regardless of my age)?  

Why do I want to do it?  how does it positively influence my life and/or others?

What small steps can I take to get started?

How can I hold myself accountable?